Why?
by Marvelous.Mirana.of.Marmoreal
Summary: Esme POV. New Moon, a songfic if you're wondering :D Why by Rascal Flatts...T for suicide/death


**This is a songfic, obviously. I had to write this after I heard the song. Can't tell you what it's about cuz then it would ruin it!**

**Happy Reading, lil' buddies!**

**Marvelous Mirana**

_**Esme POV, 2009**_

_You must've been in a place so dark_

_You couldn't feel the light_

_Reaching for you through that stormy cloud…_

You were so depressed these first few weeks; you had to move out so that Jasper wasn't uncomfortable. She meant the world to you. I know you only had us leave for her safety, but what about yours? You didn't think twice before deciding and once your mind is made up, there's no changing it. I wanted you to stay here, not go away, but you left and now look what happened!

_Now here we are gathered _

_In our little home town._

_This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd…_

We're standing in the middle of Forks with everyone gathered around us. Everyone gives us there sympathy, but I don't want any of it. By everyone, I do mean everyone. Forks was a small town, I'm sure you remember. I have Isabella- excuse me, Bella- in my arms. She's sobbing hard, her little frame shaking just as hard as mine and Alice's.

_Oh why? That's what I keep asking._

_Was there anything I could've said or done?_

I feel guilty. I knew that smile you had when you left was fake. I saw the way your eyes were sad and unhappy. I feel like I should've stopped you or at least followed you. Then I wouldn't be here dry-sobbing.

_Oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul._

_God only knows what went wrong._

_And why you would leave the stage in the middle of a song._

You would play songs for us in little concerts at the house. Whenever you learned a new one, you'd gather us up in the living room and you'd play like a master. You named a song for me, Esme's Favorite. You never stopped in the middle of a song, no matter how many times you might have fumbled.

_Now in my mind I'll keep you frozen as a 17-year-old,_

_Rounding 3__rd__ to score the winning run._

Whenever we played baseball, you would be the one to win after the score tied. Alice would stick her tongue out at you and smile. Rosalie would stalk past you towards the house. Emmett would give you a fist bump and follow Rose. Jasper gave you a man-hug and ran over to Alice who would be dancing around the field. Carlisle would give you a pat on the back and walk away. I'd give you a little kiss on the cheek and go take Carlisle's hand. Bella, if she had had the chance to join our family, probably would have kissed you and taken a stroll around the field.

_You always played with passion, no matter what the game._

_When you took the stage you'd shine just like the sun._

I loved watching when you finished playing that new song. You'd smile brightly at us and take a bow. Then you shoo us away and learn yet another. We spent summers and nights and weekends like that. I wish I could hear just one more…Maybe I'll take up piano…

_Oh why? That's what I keep asking._

_Was there anything I could've said or done?_

_Oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul,_

_Oh God only knows what went wrong._

_And why you would leave the stage in the middle of a song…_

You didn't seem all that upset after a while. I guess I didn't truly know how much pain you were in until now. I now have Alice with her head on my shoulder, trying to contain herself, but every time I touch her hair she sobs anew. I think you might have done that a few times when you were still here.

_Now the oak trees are swaying in the early autumn breeze,_

_A golden sun is shining on my face._

_Through tangles thoughts I hear a mockingbird sing._

_This old world really ain't that bad of a place._

Oh I wish you could've seen everything that was here for you. Maybe if we'd listed them on paper for you. I know it's too late, but here's a few: You have a loving family, a girlfriend who misses you terribly, a sister that would die for you, a great education, and a mother that wants her son back.

_Oh why? There's no comprehending_

_And who am I to try to judge or explain?_

_Oh but I do have one burning question:_

_Who told you life wasn't worth the fight?_

I wonder what made you think leaving us would be a good answer. Bella's here now, we're all here now. Who in the world told you that nothing was right? I swear I would wring their necks out if it would just bring you back.

_They were wrong, they lied._

_And now you're gone and we cry,_

'_Cause it's not like to walk away in the middle of a song._

We stand here in a huddle now; everyone's gone except us and Bella. We stare at your grave in silence and tears. We obviously couldn't find your body, but there had to be a gravesite. It's not like you to just give up so easily. I had hoped you would have toughened it out…guess I was wrong.

_You're beautiful song_

I hold Bella and Alice in my arms as they shake with sobs- Alice's dry, Bella's wetting my shirt. Carlisle has one arm around me tightly. Rosalie is standing with her arms crossed, staring at your headstone, whispering a string of curses at you. She's angry because you took yourself away.

_You're absolutely beautiful song…_

The boys sit in front of your grave, reading it over and over. It says this: "Ups and downs, lefts and rights, you were a stubborn but loving son, brother, and boyfriend."

And at the bottom in tiny letters, it reads- "1901-2009 Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."


End file.
